07 октомври 2013

A hand to hold

I do believe I have waited all my life for you. The one. The real one. The man who will love me unconditionally, selflessly, passionately... Maybe I waited too long. Maybe you were never real. Were you just a fragment of my imagination? Wishful thinking? A hope for eternity... I have a feeling you were always here, close to me- maybe just a hand away. I kept reaching out for your hand- so nearby and yet so far away. Oceans apart, worlds away, a galactic void... And yet you are real. Of flesh and blood. You can't be just another dream. I have felt loved. And then betrayed. And then what? Trust is a tricky issue. And it should be handled with care. It can split into a million pieces within a second. And take a lifetime to repair. But there is always the question- is it worth repairing something that has been broken? Picking up the pieces is not a joyful task. It is plain hard work. Sometimes it is much easier to give up. Fighting to get back into someone's heart and soul is a weary deed. I always wonder if you are worth it. It is not about winning or losing. Even if I win- what exactly do I get? What is the reward? And is it worth the trouble? The prayers? The sleepless nights? But then again- the nicest things in life are the simple ones. It really is no big deal. Maybe you should ask yourself if I am worth it. And take it from there... Patience has its limits. Eventually you realize time has run out. We don't have a lifetime to make important decisions. Follow your heart. You can only hold one hand at a time. Reach out to me if it's my hand you want. Before it's too late. Before the ocean drowns all good intentions. And I forget.... Forget what I dreamt of. Forget who you are. Forget... Don't blame it on time, on circumstances, on other people... Love is God's special gift to us. Lose it once and you may never get it again. People come and go. Good people, bad people, all sorts of people... Love remains. If it is real. You just need to know if you want to walk till the end of the world, holding my hand. It's that simple. Otherwise we walk alone. And only God holds our hand. I am at peace. I now know I can walk the rest of the journey with my head held up high. I can do it on my own. And there will always be someone to hold my hand! Because it is what I want and what I believe in... We are who we are. We make our own choices. I feel loved, watched over and blessed. Maybe not by you. In the long run it doesn't really matter. I will not be a beggar for love. I AM love. I may not always see it but I feel it- someone out there is always by my side, holding my hand. Just the way it is meant to be...