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14 юни 2010

Love as a theory


Love experts just do not tire of giving advice on how to make your relationship work. I know you have all read the stuff. Be caring, considerate, allow your partner the freedom to live his life, keep the sparkle alive... It all makes so mush sense, except that there is always a notion that something is missing. Because it doesn't work for your relationship. People are different, their expectations are different, their goals, ambitions, desires... How do you just sum all that up and let it be ruled by one theory? Tough task. I am all for theory. It's just that I wish it could be put to practice. Every partnership is unique in its own way. What works for one couple need not necessarily work for another. So how do you summarize that and unify it? This generalization tends to depress me. Makes me feel like I'm the only one that obviously can't use the wonderful revelations on love and put them to work for me. No, I'm not a complete idiot. I just don't like the kind of love tips that perhaps work for the first year of the relationship. Though you probably don't need any tips in the beginning when all is chocolate and roses. Let's move 20 years on and try to apply these tips. No way! The phase is just so many miles away from the perfection of the first year. And that, to me, is normal. People have changed. The players may be the same but they are no longer young and full of expectations. The difficulties have piled up, some have been overcome, many have been abandoned as hopeless and new ones are looming up. Sometimes you are not up to romance. You don't even consider whether you are in love or not at such times. Love is there but there are more pressing issues to be handled. The euphoria is gone and may have left a bitter taste behind. Because things are just so different after the initial stage of falling in love. I'm all for love. But let's not make it into a heroic deed. I prefer to keep things simple. Less emotion is good for my sanity. And if you still feel like you need advice from a love expert, just make sure you are your own advisor. That is what really makes sense.

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